What do reindeer say before telling you a joke? This one will sleigh you.
Why is a reindeer like a gossip? Because they are both tail bearers.
What is the most famous shark? William Sharkspeare.
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
When is a lion not a lion? When he turns into his cage.
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.