Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."
Teacher: Give me an example of animal. Jimmy: Frog Teacher: Give me another. Jimmy: Another Frog.
A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden. Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says: Mama, is that you?
What do you call a smart blonde? A Golden Retriever.
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain? (A drizzly bear!)
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch? (Because he was stuffed!)
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots? A: Bunny farts!
A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him. "How do I do that?" he asked. "Carefully," replied the vet.
How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt? Tricera-bottoms.