The best animal jokes

Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
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has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, family, food, kids
A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Sure you are son. Im all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear." Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I pure polar bear?" She answers, "Of course you are honey. Im all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear." Still not convinced the baby polar bear goes to his grandparents and asks, "Grandmom...Grandpop...am I all polar bear?" His grandmother answers, "Of course you are sweetie. Were all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear. Why do you ask sweetie?" The baby polar bears replies, "Because I m feeling **** cold and freezing!"
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has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm. He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
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has 44.61 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
When is a lion not a lion? When he turns into his cage.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
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