Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"? Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' Teacher: No, that's wrong Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.
What do ducks wear to party's? A duck-sedo!
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other: "So what do you think of mad cow disease?" The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
Teacher: Give me an example of animal. Jimmy: Frog Teacher: Give me another. Jimmy: Another Frog.
A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden. Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says: Mama, is that you?
How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt? Tricera-bottoms.
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."