The best animal jokes

One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
‘Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots? A: Bunny farts!
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, Yo mama
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, mechanic, work
What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, love
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