Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin!
What do ducks wear to party's? A duck-sedo!
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other: "So what do you think of mad cow disease?" The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods... Cats have never forgotten this. Here's proof that Cats are smarter than dogs... You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God! Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes. Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit!
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100? Because when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.
Q: What is a zebra? A: A horse behind bars.
Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.