The best animal jokes

When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, death, parrot
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, “Those are deer tracks.” The second blonde said, “No those are elk tracks.” The third blonde said, “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.” The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them. Emma: So, what kind of tracks were they?
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, sport
What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball? They re both brown, except the snowball.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of udder delight.
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, heaven
Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street? Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, relationship
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
Two Bear Hunters Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!"
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, hunting
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