What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear." It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when there was a knock on the door. He opened it, and saw nobody, so he closed the door and went back to his paper. There was another knock, so he opened the door again. This time, he looked down and saw a small snail. "Mister, could you spare some change?" the snail said. The man picked up the snail, threw him into the bushes, and went back to reading. A year later, there was another knock at the door. It was the snail. "What'd you do that for?"
Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet. That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet.
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!