The best animal jokes

Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired? A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cowboy
What is a nigger? Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
Vote: has 69.03 % from 332 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, black people
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
Vote: has 68.97 % from 234 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, dirty, masturbation
A little girl asks her Mom, "May I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom says, "No honey, the dog is in heat." "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your Father. I think he's in the garage". The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom but she said the dog was in heat and said I should ask you". Her Dad said, "Bring Susie over here". He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's rear end with it and said, "Ok, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block". The little girl leaves and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Her Dad asks, "Where's Susie?" The girl replies, "Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block -and there's another dog pushing her home!
Vote: has 68.81 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
Vote: has 68.81 % from 116 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, food
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
Vote: has 68.73 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
Vote: has 68.56 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Knock, knock. Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yep, that they do.
Vote: has 68.56 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, bird, communication, knock-knock
Little Red Riding Hood walks through the forest and sees a wolf hunched under a tree with its ears erect and its mouth stretched in a big grimace. She says to the wolf, "My, what big ears you have!" The wolf keeps grimacing. She says, "My, what big eyes you have!" The wolf grimaces even wider, baring his teeth. She says, "My, what big teeth you have!" The wolf finally snaps and says, "F**k off! I'm trying to take a dump."
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting


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