The best animal jokes

Two deer hunters were not having any luck so they asked for advice from an old-timer. "You can just about guarantee a deer if you learn to hunt with dogs," he said. The two hunters got a trained deer dog and hit the woods. At the end of the day and still empty-handed, one hunter said to the other, "Maybe tomorrow we'll get one if we throw the dog out of a higher treestand."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dog, hunting, time
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. I see. We’ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How keep it there and don’t fall?"
Vote: has 68.29 % from 67 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, love, men, women
What do you call a gay dinosaur?…… Mega-sore-ass.
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More jokes about: animal, dinosaur
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, beer, men, phone, women
A man has his car full of penguins. He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stops him. He says. "Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those penguins to the zoo!" The man does that. The next day in the same spot, the man still has the penguins. Once again he drives past the policeman. "Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!" "I did," replies the man. "We had so much fun that were going to the beach today!"
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."  The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, duck, health
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey? A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
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More jokes about: animal, holiday, Thanksgiving
Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle. "I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk. The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
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More jokes about: animal, disgusting, hunting, mean
The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house. He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, naked again?"
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, drunk, stupid


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