The best animal jokes

What goes black white black white...? A penguin rolling down a hill! What's black and white and laughing? The penguin who pushed him!
Vote: has 67.34 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Vote: has 67.15 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, car, Chuck Norris, time
Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with. JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?" BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me." JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father." BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!" JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?" BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto." JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?" BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."
Vote: has 66.98 % from 57 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, baby, dinosaur
What does the fox say? Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
Vote: has 66.96 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm? A: She burys it.
Vote: has 66.96 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, blonde, death, stupid
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting, dog, political
"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, car
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, health
Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?" Patient: "I think I’m a chicken." Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?" Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, doctor
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris


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