The best animal jokes

Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, money
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, fitness
Where do Russian cows come from? Moscow.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man is walking home when he sees a dog buying meat for his owner. The man watches the dog when the butcher takes a little to much and growls and him until he gets the right amount. The man follows the dog and watches as the dog stands on two legs and helps an old lady across the street. Amazed the man follows the dog home and watches the dog ring the doorbell. When the owner comes to the door the owner takes the bags and tells the dog to stay in the front yard. Frustrated the man goes up to the owner and yells "This dog is amazing! He gets your groceries, makes sure you have the exact change, helps old ladies across the street and this is how you treat him!" The owner replies, "I know but,this is the 3rd time this week he left his keys".
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self? A: Beef stroganoff.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, game
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
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has 66.43 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dirty, sex
Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle. "I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk. The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, hunting, mean
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, men, phone, women
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