The best animal jokes

A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
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has 63.06 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, food
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls? Reptiles.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
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has 62.97 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, wife
How do you tell if a black girls pregnant? Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
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has 62.81 % from 685 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, kids, racist
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
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has 62.71 % from 225 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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has 62.69 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, dog, political
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, money
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath? A little bear.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping? Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
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