The best animal jokes

Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Class: "Brotherly love."
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has 65.25 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, school, teacher
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, men, phone, women
Two neighbors are talking to each other. First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me? Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well. First neighbor: Really, well then, how? Second neighbor: My dog came and told me.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q:Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches? A:Because they can.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, time
Q: What did the cow say to the other cow? A: Moo.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, IT, programmer
The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?" "Yes, we are. Why you ask?" The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?" "Yes I am!" says the mom with pride. The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?" "Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?" The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
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