The best animal jokes

Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, love
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me." The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, health, money, wife
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fitness
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore? A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, vulgar, work
A man is walking home when he sees a dog buying meat for his owner. The man watches the dog when the butcher takes a little to much and growls and him until he gets the right amount. The man follows the dog and watches as the dog stands on two legs and helps an old lady across the street. Amazed the man follows the dog home and watches the dog ring the doorbell. When the owner comes to the door the owner takes the bags and tells the dog to stay in the front yard. Frustrated the man goes up to the owner and yells "This dog is amazing! He gets your groceries, makes sure you have the exact change, helps old ladies across the street and this is how you treat him!" The owner replies, "I know but,this is the 3rd time this week he left his keys".
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. "Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks. "I can do great bird impressions", the man replies. "Pssh, a lot of people can do that". "Oh well", the man says and flies away.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Q: What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds? A: Hailing taxi cabs!
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cat
Camper: "Look at that bunch of cows." Farmer: "Not bunch, herd." Camper: "Heard what?" Farmer: "Of cows." Camper: "Sure I've heard of cows." Farmer: "No, I mean a cowherd." Camper: "So what? I have no secrets from cows."
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fish


<<<38394041
More jokes →
Page 38 of 150.