The best animal jokes

Q:Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches? A:Because they can.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
Camper: "Look at that bunch of cows." Farmer: "Not bunch, herd." Camper: "Heard what?" Farmer: "Of cows." Camper: "Sure I've heard of cows." Farmer: "No, I mean a cowherd." Camper: "So what? I have no secrets from cows."
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm? A: She burys it.
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, death, stupid
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, sex
Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Class: "Brotherly love."
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has 65.00 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, school, teacher
What goes black white black white...? A penguin rolling down a hill! What's black and white and laughing? The penguin who pushed him!
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has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: animal
Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with. JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?" BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me." JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father." BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!" JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?" BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto." JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?" BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."
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has 64.90 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, dinosaur
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
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