What does the fox say? Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dumbass named you Moses?" "The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?" Patient: "I think I’m a chicken." Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?" Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen and not herded!
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda? A berry bubbly bunny.