The best animal jokes

A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper. The little girl asks, "hats under there?" So the man answers , "A bird..." The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain. A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?' The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl." So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses. When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about. So they ask her if she did anything to the man...? She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, doctor, men
I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over. "You've given me one too many" I said. "That one is a freebie"
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, time
Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired? A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy
What do you call a gay dinosaur?…… Mega-sore-ass.
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has 65.45 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: animal, dinosaur
One day some soldiers from a nearby Army camp saw a boy leading a donkey. They thought they would have some fun with him. "Say, boy," called out one of the soldiers. "You sure are keeping a tight rein on your brother, aren't you?" "Sure am," said the boy. "If I didn't he would probably join the Army."
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has 65.39 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: animal, military
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.  In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
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has 65.36 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex, time
Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing not more than fifty feet from them. The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes. Then, as the bear slowly approached them, he furiously attempted to lace them up. The second man, somewhat confused, looked at the first man and said, "Whaddya doing? Running shoes ain’t gonna help! You can't outrun that there bear!" "I don't need to outrun the bear, buddy," said the first man, "I just need to outrun you."
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has 65.32 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Knock, knock. Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yep, that they do.
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has 65.20 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, communication, knock-knock
Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot.
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
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