In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a.
Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.
Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen and not herded!
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.
How do you make a rabbit fast? Don't feed it.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked. The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" The lady confirmed, "Yes." "Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.