The best animal jokes

Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired? A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy
One day some soldiers from a nearby Army camp saw a boy leading a donkey. They thought they would have some fun with him. "Say, boy," called out one of the soldiers. "You sure are keeping a tight rein on your brother, aren't you?" "Sure am," said the boy. "If I didn't he would probably join the Army."
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has 65.39 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: animal, military
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.  In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
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has 65.36 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex, time
Q: What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? A: ‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
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has 65.32 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing not more than fifty feet from them. The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes. Then, as the bear slowly approached them, he furiously attempted to lace them up. The second man, somewhat confused, looked at the first man and said, "Whaddya doing? Running shoes ain’t gonna help! You can't outrun that there bear!" "I don't need to outrun the bear, buddy," said the first man, "I just need to outrun you."
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has 65.32 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with. JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?" BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me." JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father." BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!" JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?" BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto." JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?" BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."
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has 65.29 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, dinosaur
Knock, knock. Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yep, that they do.
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has 65.20 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, communication, knock-knock
Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot.
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, coding, computer, IT
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