The best animal jokes

Q: What animal could Noah not trust? A: Cheetah.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, christian
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.
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has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Two deer hunters were not having any luck so they asked for advice from an old-timer. "You can just about guarantee a deer if you learn to hunt with dogs," he said. The two hunters got a trained deer dog and hit the woods. At the end of the day and still empty-handed, one hunter said to the other, "Maybe tomorrow we'll get one if we throw the dog out of a higher treestand."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, hunting, time
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman? A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
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has 63.74 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex, women
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
A skunk and a rabbit were running through the woods and accidentally they collided with each other. They both got amnesia from the crash. "Who am I? What am I?" said the rabbit confused. "Well, you're one such... with a short tail, long ears..." "I guess!" shouted the rabbit, "I'm a rabbit!" "And what am I?" asked the skunk. "Ah! Yes. You're one such hairy, smelly, with a strip in the middle..." "Wow!", yelled the skunk, "Probably I'm an ass!"
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus' owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus' owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy, "Now if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, and has another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner comes up and says, "What are you pissing around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!" The octopus says, "Play it? If I can figure out how to get it's pajama's off, I'm gonna screw it!"
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has 63.65 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, disgusting, money, music
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore? A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, vulgar, work
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate? A: Pork Chop.
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has 63.42 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, sport
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