The best animal jokes

A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
Vote:
has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, IT, programmer
A man runs over a cat. The cat’s address is on its collar so the man goes to apologise to the owner. He knocks on the door and a little old lady answers. The man says, ‘I’m so sorry. I’ve just run over your cat. Can I replace it?’ ‘I don’t know,’ replies the old lady. ‘How are you at catching mice?’
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two goldfish are in a tank. One said to the other: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is height of De-hydration? A: A cow giving milk powder.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion? A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?" "Yes" "What are you doing at the movies?" "Well, I liked the book!"
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
How did that bullfight come out? Oh, it was a toss-up.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
<<<36373839
More jokes →
Page 36 of 153.