A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. "Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk.
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
Where do Russian cows come from? Moscow.
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet.
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self? A: Beef stroganoff.