The best animal jokes

A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness." The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you." The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"
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has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, parrot
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm? A: She burys it.
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, death, stupid
"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!". The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dog, game
Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?" Patient: "I think I’m a chicken." Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?" Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?  She thought children should be seen and not herded!
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, wedding
What's a teddy bears favourite pasta? Tagliateddy.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
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