The best animal jokes

What gives milk and has a horn? A milk tank.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, food
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, coding, computer, IT
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, men, phone, women
I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over. "You've given me one too many" I said. "That one is a freebie"
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, men
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, sex
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion! Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?" The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!" On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away. The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant - "Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog? A tourist.
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has 64.48 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, food, racist
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.
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has 64.43 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: animal, fitness, gym
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