The best animal jokes

How do you make a rabbit fast? Don't feed it.
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
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Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
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Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet. Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be L1000, please". "A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man. "Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".
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Why was the little bear so spoiled? Because its mother panda d to its every whim.
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Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper.
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This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
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Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? A: He was having a bad hare day!
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Q: What is a crowbar? A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
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