The best animal jokes

Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me." The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, health, money, wife
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee? A: In a nest-cafe!
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird
What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, music
A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today" The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes." "What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss. "I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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has 61.06 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, time
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes. They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them." And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."
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has 60.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, gay, sex
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, money
Q: What did the cow say to the other cow? A: Moo.
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication
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