What gas do snails prefer? Shell.
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly. "After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him? He stung her into action.
What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths? Lefty.
How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? He was the last of his race!
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.