The best animal jokes

What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit? A: Curly hare.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Dogs may shed, but cats shred.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, ugly, work
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse? A: An Arab mechanic.
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has 60.42 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: animal, mechanic, racist
A man walks into a bar one day and asks the bartender if he knows a man named Two Guns Gonzales. The bartender says no but he tells him that the man in the back named No Guns knows him. So the guy walks to the back of the bar and asks the man if he knows a guy named Two Guns Gonzales. The man says, "Let me tell you a story... One day about a week ago, I was riding into town on my horse and this large man with two guns comes riding up to me and says, "Get off your horse." Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I get off my horse. Then he says, "Now drop your pants." Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I take off my pants. Then he says, "Now s**t." Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I s**t. Then he says, "Now eat it." Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I eat it. Now, Two Guns is laughing so hard, he drops his guns! I grab them! Now I say, "Drop your pants." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He drops his pants. Then I say, "Now s**t." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He s**ts. Then I say, "Now eat it." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He eats it. So when you ask me if I know a man named Two Guns Gonzales, the answer is yes: I had lunch with him last week."
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has 60.21 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, disgusting
Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical? A: Fiddler on the hoof.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
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