The best animal jokes

What's the definition of a nervous breakdown? A chameleon on a tartan rug.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson? He stank to the bottom of the pool.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
How would you get four reindeer in a car? Two in the front and two in the back. And how do you get four polar bears in a car? Take the reindeer out first.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him? He stung her into action.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, wife
What kind of sharks make good carpenters? Hammerheads.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths? Lefty.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette? He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Q: What do you call a naked deer? A: Buck naked!
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man walks into a bar one day and asks the bartender if he knows a man named Two Guns Gonzales. The bartender says no but he tells him that the man in the back named No Guns knows him. So the guy walks to the back of the bar and asks the man if he knows a guy named Two Guns Gonzales. The man says, "Let me tell you a story... One day about a week ago, I was riding into town on my horse and this large man with two guns comes riding up to me and says, "Get off your horse." Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I get off my horse. Then he says, "Now drop your pants." Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I take off my pants. Then he says, "Now s**t." Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I s**t. Then he says, "Now eat it." Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I eat it. Now, Two Guns is laughing so hard, he drops his guns! I grab them! Now I say, "Drop your pants." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He drops his pants. Then I say, "Now s**t." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He s**ts. Then I say, "Now eat it." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He eats it. So when you ask me if I know a man named Two Guns Gonzales, the answer is yes: I had lunch with him last week."
Vote:
has 59.12 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, disgusting
<<<53545556
More jokes →
Page 53 of 153.