The best animal jokes

Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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has 60.80 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, relationship, sex
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
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has 60.74 % from 265 votes. More jokes about: animal
Teacher: "What does a duck say?" Jenny: "Quack Quack" Teacher: "What does a cow say?" Madison: "Moo" Teacher: "What does a pig say?" Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
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has 60.73 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, kids, little Johnny, vulgar
Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse? A: An Arab mechanic.
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has 60.72 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: animal, mechanic, racist
What does the fox say? Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, fish
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff. A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on. They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation. The redhead goes first. She jumps and says "eagle!". She turns into an eagle and flies away. The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away. The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
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has 60.65 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, ginger
What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
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has 60.60 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: animal
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, wife
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