What's the definition of a nervous breakdown? A chameleon on a tartan rug.
Two skunks were being chased by a bear. As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we do?" "Let us spray!" replied the other.
Why was the skunk angry? He was incensed.
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers.
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab.
What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster. (Try saying that fast!)
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? He always said "Neigh"