The best animal jokes

Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
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has 61.96 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
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has 61.94 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, Yo mama
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
What did the flower say to be the bee? "Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, vulgar
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, sex
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks. ''What's your name?'' The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?'' ''Yeah,'' says the frog. ''I'd like to borrow some money.'' The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. ''Okay,what's your name?'' The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.'' ''Really?'' says the loan officer. ''Any relation to Mick Jagger?'' ''Yeah, he's my dad.'' ''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer. ''Do you have any collateral?'' The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Will this do?'' The loan officer says, ''Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.'' ''Oh, tell him I said hi,'' adds the frog. ''He knows me.'' The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, ''Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.'' The manager says: ''It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.''
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, money, music
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, food, life
How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant
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