The best animal jokes

There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, time
One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years later he heard knocking at the door again. He opened the door to see the snail. The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"
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has 61.04 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: animal, knock-knock
What did the bee say to the flower? "Hi, honey."
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is the difference between an pilot and a pig? The pig doesn't turn into a pilot when it's drunk.
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: air force, animal, drunk
What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
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has 60.72 % from 224 votes. More jokes about: animal
What does the fox say? Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, redneck, sex, stupid
Two lawyers walking through the woods attracted the attention of a vicious-looking bear. The bear noticed them, and started to walk toward them. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulling out a pair of sneakers, and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said: "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "Oh, I know that. Bears are much faster than humans. I have no hope of ever being able to outrun a bear." "If you know that, why are you changing shoes?" "Well, the way I figure it," the first lawyer replied, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you."
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has 60.67 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff. A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on. They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation. The redhead goes first. She jumps and says "eagle!". She turns into an eagle and flies away. The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away. The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
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has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, ginger
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
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has 60.60 % from 264 votes. More jokes about: animal
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