A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff. A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on. They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation. The redhead goes first. She jumps and says "eagle!". She turns into an eagle and flies away. The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away. The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”
What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster? A cock that stays up all night.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.
What do you call a rabbit who is real cool? A hip hopper.
What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat? He had to get a new goat.