The best animal jokes

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man walks into a bar one day and asks the bartender if he knows a man named Two Guns Gonzales. The bartender says no but he tells him that the man in the back named No Guns knows him. So the guy walks to the back of the bar and asks the man if he knows a guy named Two Guns Gonzales. The man says, "Let me tell you a story... One day about a week ago, I was riding into town on my horse and this large man with two guns comes riding up to me and says, "Get off your horse." Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I get off my horse. Then he says, "Now drop your pants." Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I take off my pants. Then he says, "Now s**t." Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I s**t. Then he says, "Now eat it." Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I eat it. Now, Two Guns is laughing so hard, he drops his guns! I grab them! Now I say, "Drop your pants." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He drops his pants. Then I say, "Now s**t." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He s**ts. Then I say, "Now eat it." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He eats it. So when you ask me if I know a man named Two Guns Gonzales, the answer is yes: I had lunch with him last week."
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has 60.21 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, disgusting
Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical? A: Fiddler on the hoof.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher? Ground round.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why are cows made for dancing? They re all born hoofers.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
What gives milk and has a horn? A milk tank.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Which rabbit was in Western movies? Hopalong Cassidy.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping? Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
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