The best animal jokes

A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks. ''What's your name?'' The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?'' ''Yeah,'' says the frog. ''I'd like to borrow some money.'' The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. ''Okay,what's your name?'' The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.'' ''Really?'' says the loan officer. ''Any relation to Mick Jagger?'' ''Yeah, he's my dad.'' ''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer. ''Do you have any collateral?'' The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Will this do?'' The loan officer says, ''Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.'' ''Oh, tell him I said hi,'' adds the frog. ''He knows me.'' The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, ''Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.'' The manager says: ''It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.''
has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, money, music
Q: Why is the old, worn out horse named Flattery? A: Because it gets you nowhere.
has 58.98 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong. Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy." "Like what?" asked Fozzie. "Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't." Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that? You're not a prude or anything." "No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
has 58.90 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, jewish
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? Plenty of milk.
has 58.86 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, math
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
has 58.79 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding
Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!
has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
What is the difference between an pilot and a pig? The pig doesn't turn into a pilot when it's drunk.
has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: air force, animal, drunk
A three-year-old boy fell eighteen feet into a zoo enclosure containing seven gorillas. He was immediately rescued, not by zookeepers, but by one of the animals. The 150 lb. female gorilla picked up the unconscious form of the boy and laid it at a door to be easily retrieved by zookeepers. This cross-species rescue has resulted in thousands of dollars in donations to the zoo. It is perhaps because of these donations that zookeepers have kept quiet about one vital detail, a hastily scrawled note tucked in the boy's collar: "Thanks; but we prefer fruit."
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the ass.
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, Yo mama
That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, weather
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