Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
A: He was having a bad hare day!
Q: What is a crowbar?
A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self?
A: Beef stroganoff.
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show?
A: The feather forecast!
Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer?
A lot of bites.
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today"
The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes."
"What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss.
"I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you?
A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She called the police immediately to report the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch.
The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder.
She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning.
"What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer.
The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a blind policeman!"