When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
A duck walks into a pet store and asked the owner if he sold “duck-food” here. The owner said; “no, I don’t sell duck food here”. The next day the duck went back to the same pet store, and asked the owner again if he sold “duck-food” here. The owner became very angry and said; “if you ask me for “duck-food” one more time, I am going to nail your web feet to the floor!” The duck came back on the third day and asked the owner of the pet store; “do you sell any hammer and nails here?” The owner answered; “no, I don’t sell any hammer and nails here”. The duck then asked; “do you sell any “duck-food” here”?
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher-
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
What's a rabbits favourite car? Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked. The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" The lady confirmed, "Yes." "Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."