The best animal jokes

Q.How do you catch a polar bear? A.You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear comes along and stops for a pea,you kick it in the ice hole.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, music
"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't." "How do you know he isn t?" "Because I am."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away. So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him. Eventually, the bears went away. Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble. Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, Chuck Norris
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? Plenty of milk.
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, math
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
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has 62.11 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, wife
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
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has 61.94 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, Yo mama
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, fish
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