The best animal jokes

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?" Patient: "I think I’m a chicken." Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?" Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup." Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a dumb bunny? A hare brain.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
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