Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly.
So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long?
A πthon.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
Vote:
Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper !
What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil?
Pre-tanned leather.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
Ground Beef.
What did one dairy cow say to another?
Got milk?