Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever.
Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away.
What should you call a bald teddy?
Fred bear .
First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?
Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?
A chameleon on a tartan rug.
Two skunks were being chased by a bear.
As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we do?"
"Let us spray!" replied the other.
Why was the skunk angry?
He was incensed.
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row.
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours?
A hermit crab.
What are the most athletic rodents?
Track and field mice.