The best animal jokes

Q: why did the cow cross the road? A: So he could pass the milkyway.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, travel
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
Vote: has 63.63 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he is reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She answers, "Your horse called."
Vote: has 63.62 % from 603 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, marriage, wife
One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years later he heard knocking at the door again. He opened the door to see the snail. The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"
Vote: has 63.59 % from 132 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, knock-knock
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion! Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?" The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!" On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away. The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant - "Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"
Vote: has 63.51 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.  In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
Vote: has 63.35 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, sex, time
Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse? A: An Arab mechanic.
Vote: has 63.33 % from 125 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, mechanic, racist
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal