The best animal jokes

If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? The Captains Dinghy!
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, life
What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
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has 59.68 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, business, ginger, god
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
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has 59.66 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long? A πthon.
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has 59.61 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: animal
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? Plenty of milk.
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has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, math
Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
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has 59.37 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
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has 59.23 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, Yo mama
What's the best way to make a bull sweat? Put him in a tight jumper !
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leather.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
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