Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?"
Patient: "I think I’m a chicken."
Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?"
Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup."
Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
What do you call a dumb bunny?
A hare brain.
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?
One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
As horses say to one another.
Any friend of yours is a palomino!
How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two pairs of stilts!