The best animal jokes

George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bird, death, parrot
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, political
What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him... Get away from my nuts.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion? A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fat, food, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, insulting, money, Yo mama
Your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Yo mama
A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She called the police immediately to report the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch. The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder. She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning. "What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer. The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a blind policeman!"
Vote: has 57.35 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde, cop, dog, work
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk? A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
Vote: has 57.28 % from 142 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black people, food