The best animal jokes

A three-year-old boy fell eighteen feet into a zoo enclosure containing seven gorillas. He was immediately rescued, not by zookeepers, but by one of the animals. The 150 lb. female gorilla picked up the unconscious form of the boy and laid it at a door to be easily retrieved by zookeepers. This cross-species rescue has resulted in thousands of dollars in donations to the zoo. It is perhaps because of these donations that zookeepers have kept quiet about one vital detail, a hastily scrawled note tucked in the boy's collar: "Thanks; but we prefer fruit."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs? A:Right where you left him.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
A man and his little boy were walking through the park when a honeybee landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. The father gave him a lecture about having respect for living things and added, "Just for that you can’t have any honey for two weeks!" Pretty soon a butterfly landed near them. The boy ran over and stomped on it. Again, the father gave him a lecture and added, "Just for that you can’t have any butter for two weeks!" When they got home, they went into the kitchen, and a cockroach ran across the floor. The mother ran over and stomped on it. The boy said to his father, "Well do you want to tell her, or shall I?"
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the ass.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, Yo mama
What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, weather
What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
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