The best animal jokes

Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, memory
Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues? Because he had a stinking cold.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weather
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way? He whale-d.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, divorce
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, weather
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