The best animal jokes

What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do cows do when they re introduced? They give each other a milk shake.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, athlete
Q: What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds? A: Hailing taxi cabs!
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat
What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.  Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news".  "Well," says the bloke, "I guess I'd better have the bad news first." The Sarge says, "I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead."  The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crayfish and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share."  He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.  "Geez, thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... so what's the other possible good news?" "Well", the Sarge says, "if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!"
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has 53.15 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, marriage, travel, wife
I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
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has 53.12 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: animal, birthday, dog, food
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand." "Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods." "That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?" "What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
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