What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.
What do cows do when they re introduced? They give each other a milk shake.
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? A: He was having a bad hare day!
Q: What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds? A: Hailing taxi cabs!
What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!
A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her. Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news". "Well," says the bloke, "I guess I'd better have the bad news first." The Sarge says, "I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead." The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crayfish and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share." He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it. "Geez, thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... so what's the other possible good news?" "Well", the Sarge says, "if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!"