Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet? It lives on ice.
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.
What do you call a show full of lions? The mane event.
Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues? Because he had a stinking cold.
What did one skunk say to another? And so do you.
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late.
Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he d beat her with a shovel!