If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
Vote:
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
A: He was having a bad hare day!
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't.
The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?"
The dog answers "ROOF."
The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying."
The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else".
The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time".
The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door.
As they bounce on the sidewalk the dog looks at his owner and says "DiMaggio?".
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
Vote:
A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.
The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw."
"So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked.
"One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up."
The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?"
"You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs?
An elephant with diarrhea.
"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?"
"I believe he's eating your lettuce."
What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit?
A honey bunny.
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?
After a week he was spotless.
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune.