The best animal jokes

A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey. It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away. So it goes into a fancy dress shop and buys a gorilla suit. It then heads for a watering hole to see if it can catch something with its new disguise. On the way it comes across two eagles sitting on a rock. One eagle says to it "Hi Mr. Lion!" The other said, "Where did you get the gorilla suit?" The lion, rather frustrated, asks, "How did you know I was a lion?" The eagles then started to sing, "You can't hide your lion eyes".
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, animal
Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice? He was a sherbet!
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More jokes about: animal
The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, communication, fat, food, insulting
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote: has 56.68 % from 212 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, black people, death
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Vote: has 56.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, disgusting, morbid, music
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
Vote: has 56.05 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
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More jokes about: animal, dirty, flirt, sex
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
Vote: has 56.02 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, racist
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Vote: has 55.37 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat


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