The best animal jokes

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand." "Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods." "That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?" "What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
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has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't. The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?" The dog answers "ROOF." The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying." The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else". The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time". The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door. As they bounce on the sidewalk the dog looks at his owner and says "DiMaggio?".
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, dog
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, health
What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit? A honey bunny.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel, wedding
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day? After a week he was spotless.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it? Major Bumsore.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the bareback performer ride his horse? Because it got too heavy to carry.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
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