The best animal jokes

Did you hear about the man with five keen senses? He still lacked common and horse!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable? He tried to stirrup some interest!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart? A: Because he's an egghead.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, easter
Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
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has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal
The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.” The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.” The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.” She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
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has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, christian, dirty, husband, women
Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house. Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler. 'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why do pandas like old movies? A: Because they are black and white.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit. We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly." "How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?" The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?" The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, political
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