The best animal jokes

Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
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has 56.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids
What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, prison
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
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has 55.64 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, marriage
The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.” The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.” The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.” She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
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has 55.57 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, christian, dirty, husband, women
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, elephant, sex
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat
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