Why did the bareback performer ride his horse? Because it got too heavy to carry.
The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
What did the flower say to be the bee? "Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk. The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!" The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.