The best animal jokes

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, math
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids
What dog can jump higher than a building? Anydog, buildings can't jump!
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, cowboy, time
The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.” The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.” The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.” She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
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has 55.57 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, christian, dirty, husband, women
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat
What would you hear at a cow concert? Moo-sic!
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal
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