What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare line.
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What's a skunk's favourite game in school?
Show and smell.
Q: What is a thespian pony?
A: A little horse play
Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball.
Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?"
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno.
But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on.
Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ."
Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.
Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?"
"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.
Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven."
Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?"
Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
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What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
Old Moo Eyes.
Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
Vote:
Who robs banks and squirts ink?
Billy the Squid.
Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''
What is the longest organ in a sheep's body?
A New Zealander's cock!
When God created the donkey, he said:"You’ll work day and night, and you’ll carry in your back heavy baggage. You’ll eat grass and you’ll have low IQ. You’ll be living for 50 years."
"But my God, 50 years is a lot of time for that kind of life! Give me only 30."
And so it happened.
Then, God created the dog:"As a dog, you’ll guard man’s property and you’ll be his staunch/loyal friend. You’ll eat their left overs and you’ll be living for 25 years."
"Oh, Mighty God. This kind of life is unbearable. Give me only 10 years to live, please."
And so it happened.
Then, God created the monkey:" You’ll jump around, tree to tree, and you’ll act like a fool so people can be entertained by you. You life will last 20 years."
"No, God, please! Don’t let me suffer for that long. Give only 10 years to live."
And so it happened.
Last, God created the Man:"You’re a Man. You’re the only sensible being on the planet earth. You’ll use your inteligence to dominance the other creatures. You’ll be in charge. You’ll life will last 20 years."
"But my one and only God, 20 years is not too long to achieve my goal. I beg you to give me the donkey’s 20 years, dog’s 15 years and monkeys 10 years."
And so it happen.
Since then men lives for 20 years as a man.
Then, he gets married and works as a donkey for 20 years by carrying heavy baggage night and day.
He haves children and lives as a dog, guarding the house and his property, eating family left overs.
And when he grows old, he lives like a monkey.
He’s his grandchildren entertainer by acting fool!