What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare line.
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What do you call a smart blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
What's the favourite flavour of sharks?
Shark-o-late.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?
A: The guy who gave it to him.
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What do you call a gay dinosaur?…… Mega-sore-ass.
Two old ladies were outside smoking one day when it started to rain.
One of the ladies took out a condom, cut off the tip, and put it over her cigarette.
The other lady said, 'Hey, that's a good idea.
What's that called?'
The lady responded, 'It's a condom.'
The other lady said, 'Where can you get one of those?'
She said, 'Oh, just about any grocery of drug store.'
So, the next day, the lady went to a local drug store, went up to the cashier, and said, 'I need to get some condoms.'
The cashier looked at her puzzled (because of her age) and said, 'UH, what size?'
The lady responded, 'Hmm, one that would fit a camel.'
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes?
A: Slow clowns.
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear.
In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful.
Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could.
The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff.
His hopes were dim.
Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!"
The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air.
Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.
Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive..."
If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on?
The Captains Dinghy!