What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur?
A stinkasaurus.
Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber?
The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws?
It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?
For smoking in bed.
Why did the horses kept saying orange juice?
Because a filly gulped to much orange juice that she turned orange!
The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert.
During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there.
Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women.
And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges.
That's why we have the camel,sir."
"The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay."
About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent .
Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel.
When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"
"No sir," the First Sergeant replies.
"They usually just ride the camel into town."
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach.
Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff."
So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away.
Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away.
Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: She liked kids...
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants?
A: Uncle.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed.