What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain? Stegosaur-rust.
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
Q. Why are fish so smart? Q. Why are fish so smart A. Because they swim in schools!
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the ass.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.