Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?
A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
What is a moo hoo for a cow fight?
A cattle battle.
What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner?
A charmer farmer.
What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow?
A tail pail.
What do you get from a cowmedian?
Cream of Wit.
Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk."
Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end?
It was won by a hare.
"May I buy half a rabbit?"
"No, we don't split hares."