The best animal jokes

Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses? A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant? Burgers and flies.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
First Kangaroo: If you were surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you get away from them? Second Kangaroo: Step off the merry-go-round.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air. Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone." George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore." Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."
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has 53.99 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: animal, little Johnny
What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal
The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.” The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.” The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.” She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
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has 53.62 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, christian, dirty, husband, women
A deer hunter who was an atheist was out in the woods when suddenly a 1,000-pound deer stepped out. "Good God!" exclaimed the hunter. Suddenly, a voice from Heaven said, "I thought you don't believe in me." The hunter replied, "Up until now I didn't believe in 1,000-pound deer either."
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, hunting, religious
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids, weather
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk? A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
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has 53.29 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, food
Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet? A:To stamp out fires. Q:Why do elephants have flat feet? A:To stamp out burning ducks
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal
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