Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
Why was cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!
What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood.
How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?" "No." "Did he hurt the cows?" "No, he just grazed them."