Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
Vote:
Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice?
He was a sherbet!
What is the slowest racehorse in the world?
A clotheshorse.
Q: What goes "oom... oom"?
A: A cow walking backward!
Vote:
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach.
Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff."
So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away.
Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away.
Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?
Just a phew.
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground.
The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at.
The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing.
They father replies that the two spiders are having sex.
It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other.
The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg.
The father says that they're both daddy long legs.
The son stomps on them, killing them.
The father asks why he did that.
The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants?
A: Uncle.
Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a hippo?
A: One has a big mouth and a fat ass. The other lives in rivers in tropical countries.