How do snails get their shells all shiny? They use snail polish.
What happened to the cold jellyfish? It set.
What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time.
Your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
How did the blonde try to kill the bird?? She threw it off a cliff.
A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him. "How do I do that?" he asked. "Carefully," replied the vet.
Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet? A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A: A snake in the brass.
Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical? A: Fiddler on the hoof.