The best animal jokes

A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream? He took the goose over first and came back. Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.
Vote: has 54.66 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, math
A deer hunter who was an atheist was out in the woods when suddenly a 1,000-pound deer stepped out. "Good God!" exclaimed the hunter. Suddenly, a voice from Heaven said, "I thought you don't believe in me." The hunter replied, "Up until now I didn't believe in 1,000-pound deer either."
Vote: has 54.66 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, god, hunting, religious
The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.” The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.” The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.” She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, christian, dirty, husband, women
The judge: Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association? The inculpated: Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, family, hunting, lawyer
Q. Why are fish so smart? Q. Why are fish so smart A. Because they swim in schools!
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, science
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, food


<<<86878889
More jokes →
Page 86 of 150.