The best animal jokes

What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.
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If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called? Loch Jaws.
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Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.
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Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice? He was a sherbet!
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What is the slowest racehorse in the world? A clotheshorse.
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What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote: has 56.75 % from 195 votes. Send joke:

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How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Vote: has 56.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat
Gay translation I want a commitment. I'm sick of masturbation. Haven't I seen you before? Nice ass. I need you. My hand is tired. You're the only man I've ever cared about. You are the only man who hasn't rejected me. I'm a Romantic. I'm poor. I really want to get to know you better. So I can tell my friends about it. It's just orange juice, try it. 3 more shots, and he'll have his legs around my head. He's kinda cute. I want to have sex with him till my dick turns blue! He's not my type. He won't sleep with me. I miss you so much I am so horny that my dog is starting to look good. I had a wonderful time last night. Who the hell are you? Do you love me? I've done something stupid and you might find out. Do you 'really' love me? I've done something stupid and you're going to find out. I'll give you a call. I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again. I've been thinking a lot. You're not as attractive as when I was drunk. I think we should just be friends. You're ugly. I've learned a lot from you. Next!!!!
Vote: has 56.07 % from 204 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, gay, love, masturbation, ugly
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
Vote: has 55.72 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

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What do dinosaurs put on their floors? Rep-tiles.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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