Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys? Rhesus Pieces.
A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg. The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw." "So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked. "One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up." The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?" "You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"
What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
What is the definition of "moon"? The past tense of "moo"!
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster.
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy.
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.