If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?
What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
Grass class.
Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit?
A honey bunny.
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes?
In a pellet court!
What kind of money do polar bears use?
Ice lolly.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?
A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
Vote:
A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey.
It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away.
So it goes into a fancy dress shop and buys a gorilla suit.
It then heads for a watering hole to see if it can catch something with its new disguise.
On the way it comes across two eagles sitting on a rock.
One eagle says to it "Hi Mr. Lion!"
The other said, "Where did you get the gorilla suit?"
The lion, rather frustrated, asks, "How did you know I was a lion?"
The eagles then started to sing, "You can't hide your lion eyes".
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone.
One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?"
The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain.
One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"