The best animal jokes

Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a hippo? A: One has a big mouth and a fat ass. The other lives in rivers in tropical countries.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, Yo mama
Waiter: "I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg." Customer: "Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu card."
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, life
The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, mean, party
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon? A: A sheep.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, elephant
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapus.
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has 51.12 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: animal, dinosaur, dirty, lesbian
Dog rules 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If its broken, it's yours.
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has 51.08 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school? A: Hissssstory.
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has 50.96 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, history, school
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal
What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, football, game
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
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