Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle? A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
A deer hunter was bragging about the biggest, baddest, handsomest, heaviest deer he'd bagged the day before. "It's got enough meat to eat the whole year," he boasted. Just then the Game Warden came up and cited the man $500 for hunting without the proper tag. "Five-hundred dollars?" exclaimed the hunter. "All for a mangy, skinny, stubby, half-pint deer?"
Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow. A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues.