Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes? In a pellet court!
What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.
What is the slowest racehorse in the world? A clotheshorse.
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
Q: What goes "oom... oom"? A: A cow walking backward!
Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit. They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature. The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know." So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle. She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car. Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved. Then dissapered over it. The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?" His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."