The best animal jokes

Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner." Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."
Vote:
has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind? A: A maybe.
Vote:
has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns.
Vote:
has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What did the apple say to the worm? A: You're boring me.
Vote:
has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a hippo? A: One has a big mouth and a fat ass. The other lives in rivers in tropical countries.
Vote:
has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, Yo mama
Waiter: "I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg." Customer: "Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu card."
Vote:
has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, life
Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking. "I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one. "I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second. "I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
Vote:
has 51.31 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, food
The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
Vote:
has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, mean, party
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon? A: A sheep.
Vote:
has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, elephant
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
Vote:
has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, genie, ginger
<<<91929394
More jokes →
Page 91 of 153.