The best animal jokes

Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it? Major Bumsore.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, athlete
Q: What goes "oom... oom"? A: A cow walking backward!
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication
The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, fat, food, insulting
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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has 52.77 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, disgusting, morbid, music
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
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has 52.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog
A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys." Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch. "That was amazing," exclaimed the coach. "I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?" "Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, football, Thanksgiving
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit. They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature. The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know." So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle. She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car. Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved. Then dissapered over it. The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?" His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, car, driving, life
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, kids, time, weather
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