Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades.
Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.
So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house.
Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit.
We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly."
"How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?"
The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?"
The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.
What do cows get when they are sick?
Hay Fever.
What do cows like to do at amoosement parks?
Ride on the roller cowster.