The best animal jokes

Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog. So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard. After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house. Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler. 'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.
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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.
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What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
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More jokes about: animal, bird, work
For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit. We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly." "How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
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A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?" The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?" The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."
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Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
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More jokes about: animal, insulting, money, Yo mama
What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand.
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What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.
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What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
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What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster.
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