The best animal jokes

What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time.
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Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
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Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
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Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."
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A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
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A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
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A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
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Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A: A snake in the brass.
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Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical? A: Fiddler on the hoof.
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Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
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More jokes about: animal, disgusting, health