‘I spilled spot remover on my dog.
Now he’s gone.’
Steven Wright
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
Vote:
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin?
Pingu-Pong.
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes?
In a pellet court!
Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A:To stamp out fires.
Q:Why do elephants have flat feet?
A:To stamp out burning ducks
What's at the end of Moby Dick?
A whale of a time.
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road?
There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote:
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud.
What's a rabbits favorite book?
Hop on Pop.