‘I spilled spot remover on my dog.
Now he’s gone.’
Steven Wright
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Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball.
Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?"
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno.
But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on.
Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ."
Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.
Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?"
"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.
Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven."
Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?"
Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
Vote:
What happened to the cannibal lion?
He had to swallow his pride!
Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
What happened when the shark became famous?
He tured into a starfish.
what is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute
chicken goes cockadoodle do
prostute goes any cock will do.
Vote:
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...