The best animal jokes

Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
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Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."
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Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner." Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog
What do you call a bear with no teeth? (A gummy bear!)
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A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
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Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A: A snake in the brass.
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Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical? A: Fiddler on the hoof.
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Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
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More jokes about: animal, disgusting, health
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies? A: A rotisserie chicken.
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More jokes about: animal, death