Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream.
Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark? A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
What's red and green and goes at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose. Ortoise: How does he smell? Gemma: Awful!
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?" The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.