Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? He always said "Neigh"
Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends? A: He plays with Pooh.
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream.
"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?" "I believe he's eating your lettuce."
Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back? They re always switching their tails.
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.