The best animal jokes

Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
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More jokes about: animal, disgusting, health
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant? Burgers and flies.
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More jokes about: animal, food
I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his little mind.
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More jokes about: animal
What dog can jump higher than a building? Anydog, buildings can't jump!
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Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."
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The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
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More jokes about: animal, mean, party
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.
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More jokes about: animal, prison
A deer hunter was bragging about the biggest, baddest, handsomest, heaviest deer he'd bagged the day before. "It's got enough meat to eat the whole year," he boasted. Just then the Game Warden came up and cited the man $500 for hunting without the proper tag. "Five-hundred dollars?" exclaimed the hunter. "All for a mangy, skinny, stubby, half-pint deer?"
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More jokes about: animal, hunting, money, time
"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?" "Because theres to many cheetahs."
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More jokes about: animal, game
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
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More jokes about: animal, dirty, health, science, sex


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