The best animal jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet? A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A: A snake in the brass.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical? A: Fiddler on the hoof.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses? A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant? Burgers and flies.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.  The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running.  About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.  He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.  The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can.  The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.  The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third fucking rooster I bought this month." Moral of this story? Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, fart
Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
What is a bear's favourite drink? Koka-Koala.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
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