Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school? A: Hissssstory.
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark? A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.
What's red and green and goes at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose. Ortoise: How does he smell? Gemma: Awful!
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?" The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop? A: Hopspital.