Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent.
They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
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In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke.
Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance.
"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows."
"I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
Which rabbits were famous bank robbers?
Bunny and Clyde.
What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times?
Two octopuses shaking hands.
What does an octopus take on a camping trip?
Tentacles.
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone.
One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?"
The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain.
One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church.
He got colt feet.
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper?
A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.