The best bible jokes

A man and wife were having argument about who should make the pot of tea in the morning. The wife told him that he should do it because he gets up first. The husband said that she was in charge of the cooking in the house, making it her job. The wife said that even the bible says that the man should do it. The husband told her to show him and if it did he would make it. She fetched the bible and opened up the new testament, showing him at the top of several pages that said "Hebrews".
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, marriage, work
The Bible says I'll pay for my sins. I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
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has 69.39 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bible, drug, money
Q: Which Bible character had no parents? A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: bible, family, geek, IT
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: bible, death, money
Englishman, Scottish man and Irishman selling bibles door to door, they have a bet who will sell the most in a day. They meet up at end of day and Englishman has sold 2, Scottish man had sold 3, but the Irishman who had a terrible stutter says hhhee hhhee hhhad sssold ssssixty. The other two asked how did he do it. He said, "Wwwhen Iiiii nnnnnnknock aaaat thththe ddddooor I said: Do you wwwwwant tto bbbuy a bbbbbible ooooorrr shshshould Iiii jjjust rrrread it tttto yyyyou?"
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: bible, life
Q: What was the world's first palindrome? A: Madam, I'm Adam.
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, history
Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Sally was sleeping in front of johnny. The teacher asked Sally who our Lord and savior was. Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a pin and she screamed "Jesus Christ!" And fell back to sleep. A little while later the teacher asked Sally who created our world. Johnny poked her in the butt again and Sally screamed "oh my god!" And fell back to sleep. Later the teacher asked Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fifth child. Johnny poked her in the butt and Sally screamed "if you stick that thing in me one more time I'm gonna break it!"
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has 63.33 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: bible, god, little Johnny, teacher
Recently, I've been using the Bible for support. I've got a wobbly coffee table.
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: beauty, bible, life
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A: Samson. He brought the house down.
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: bible, christian
Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: bible, sport
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