The best black humor jokes

A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!” “Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?” “Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.” “Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food, health, hospital
Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention? A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: black humor, mean, time, vulgar, work
Q: Where do one-legged people eat? A: IHOP.
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has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor
First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?" Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food
Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor? A: Not cool.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor, ethnic, weather
Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.
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has 70.16 % from 438 votes. More jokes about: black humor, history, Hitler, jewish
Q: How does every black joke start? A: With the white guy looking over his shoulder.
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has 70.14 % from 427 votes. More jokes about: black humor, racist, white people
There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle. But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal. So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench. So obviously they're pretty confused. They ask "what the hell took you so long man?" The guy says, "well i was just finishing up my business, when I met this beautiful Vietnamese girl, and we just started having sex right there. we did every position imaginable, missionary, doggy style, everything. It was great." One of his buddies asks "Well did you get any head?" He replies "There was no head."
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has 70.11 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, sex
There was a 3 car accident in Mexico yesterday, 84 people were found dead.
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has 70.08 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting? A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two balls!
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has 69.79 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, morbid
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