The best black humor jokes

Daughter: "That's it! I'll mary Arthur!" Mother: "But he is a lazy guy and heavy-drinker!" Father: "But you have to start with something!"
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, black humor
Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces. So too has his boot.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, travel
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."
Vote: has 67.37 % from 155 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, black humor, death, funeral, gay
Guy having sex says "damn bitch, there should be a law against sex this good." To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy..."
Vote: has 67.29 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Q: What was Hitler's favorite toy as a kid? A: An Easy-Bake Oven.
Vote: has 67.13 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Hitler
Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
Vote: has 67.10 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, kids
There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle. But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal. So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench. So obviously they're pretty confused. They ask "what the hell took you so long man?" The guy says, "well i was just finishing up my business, when I met this beautiful Vietnamese girl, and we just started having sex right there. we did every position imaginable, missionary, doggy style, everything. It was great." One of his buddies asks "Well did you get any head?" He replies "There was no head."
Vote: has 66.68 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, military, sex
A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, family
"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, hospital, time
Do you remember how everyone was trying to kill Osama Bin Laden? Well, since all of our presidents seem to get shot, why we just didn't make Bin Laden president.
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, political