The best black humor jokes

Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink? A: Concentrated jews.
Vote:
has 66.60 % from 339 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, Hitler, jewish, morbid
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
Vote:
has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, time
A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?" His friend nods. "Sure." "Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..." He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin. His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment. "Dude, that is not cool." The doctor, indignant, defended himself. "What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients." His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."
Vote:
has 66.41 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, dirty, doctor, friendship
My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday. So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.
Vote:
has 66.27 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: black humor
How do you blindfold an Asian? With dental floss!
Vote:
has 66.24 % from 329 votes. More jokes about: asian, black humor, racist
A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
Vote:
has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, family
Two hunters are out in the wood when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator:"My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter seys,"Ok, now what?"
Vote:
has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: black humor
These two guys are riding in a convertible down a road in the desert, the road runs alongside a railroad as they are driving, as they are driving a train goes past, on the train a guy is on the train, clutching his stomach and grunting, his buddy leans over, and asks him, "What the hell is wrong with you?" The guy replies, "I gotta shit real bad, and I can't reach the bathroom in time!" His buddy tells him "Hang your ass out the window, and let it fly." The guy hangs his ass out the window and the shi t flies back and hits the convertible. The guys in the convertible say "Damn, that guy on the train spit tobacco on us!" The guy asks his friend "Hey, pull over when the train stops and we'll find this guy and kick his ass". After he finishes talking the guy driving the car slows down. His friend says "Why are you slowing down, don't you wanna beat this guy up." His friend says "No!" The other guy says "Why". His friend says, "Number one, that is some of the stinkiest tobacco I've ever smelled, and number two, did you see the jaws on that son of a bitch!"
Vote:
has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: black humor, driving, friendship, travel, vulgar
Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?" Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
Vote:
has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
Vote:
has 65.94 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
<<<19202122
More jokes →
Page 19 of 53.