The best black humor jokes

Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now." "Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully. "He’s a martyr now though" mum confides. "Oh, so sad, dear" says the other. "And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21." "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born." "He’s a martyr too" says mum quietly. "Oh, gracious me…" says the other. "And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18," she whispers. "Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school." "He’s a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says, "They blow up so fast, don’t they?"
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has 67.20 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, black humor, food
Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.
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has 67.14 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: black humor, jewish, kids, morbid
Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday? A: An easy bake oven.
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has 67.10 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, Hitler, morbid
Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force? He said he wanted to grill his suspects.
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop
Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
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has 66.72 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, kids
Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable? A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
Q: What's faster than the speed of light? A: A jew passing Germany.
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has 66.69 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: black humor, jewish, morbid, racist, travel
Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?" Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
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has 66.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
Q: How do you get 15,000 followers? A: Run through Africa with a water bottle.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, Facebook, morbid
Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of him."
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has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, love, navy, religious, Valentines day
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