Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?"
Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
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In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine.
Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges.
As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
Popeye almost killed him!
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Q: Why are Germans bad cooks?
A: The only good one killed himself.
Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
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Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink?
A: Concentrated jews.
I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me.
I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
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What has more brains than a dead baby?
The wall behind it.
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How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!
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Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons?
A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
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