The best black humor jokes

"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
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has 72.32 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music
A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
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has 71.93 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, democrat, funeral, money
Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.
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has 71.88 % from 232 votes. More jokes about: black humor
My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering "Chun Yu Yan" over and over – and then died. I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
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has 71.81 % from 270 votes. More jokes about: asian, black humor, death, hospital
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said "I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything." "That's quite a coincidence", said the engineer, "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?", he asked.
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fish, lawyer, money, work
My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday. So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.
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has 71.41 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: black humor
A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her but he can't. Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid. Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help. So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch. They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street. He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, "Don't worry. I got him with the door!"
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has 71.35 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, church, kids, love
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
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has 71.18 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, relationship, terrorist
One step forward, 12 floors down.
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has 70.72 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL? A: Sir, we were able to save her!
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, life, mother in law
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