The best black humor jokes

What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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has 67.31 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, sex
Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting? A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two balls!
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has 67.15 % from 184 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, morbid
I got in trouble during high school for masturbating in the showers. Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.
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has 67.03 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: black humor
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.
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has 66.97 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, kids, music
Two hunters are out in the wood when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator:"My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead. There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter seys,"Ok, now what?"
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor
A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?" His friend nods. "Sure." "Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..." He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin. His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment. "Dude, that is not cool." The doctor, indignant, defended himself. "What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients." His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."
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has 66.81 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, dirty, doctor, friendship
A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: black humor, family
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
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has 66.72 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine. Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges. As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
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has 66.69 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, ethnic, military, war
A magician comes to a seniors' home for entertainment afternoon: "Aaaaand? Is everybody heeere?" Seniors, enthusiastically, "Yeaaaah!" Magician, winking, "But not for looooong...!"
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, old people, vulgar
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