I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight.
It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons?
A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
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I got in trouble during high school for masturbating in the showers.
Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.
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It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
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I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me.
I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
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How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!
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"I want a divorce"!
"But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part."
"I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday?
A: An easy bake oven.
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Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink?
A: Concentrated jews.