Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car.
It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
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"I want a divorce"!
"But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part."
"I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!
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Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife?
When she spread her legs he saw bush.
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I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me.
I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
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It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
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First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?"
Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."
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Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.
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Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined?
A: For buttering up her clients.
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