Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews? A: Santa comes down the chimney.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
A school in the United States is on fire. One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them. After half of an hour the upper fireman asks: Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids? Oh damn, I thought these were the burnt ones.
I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more.
What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding? A baby in a microwave.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Q: Whats the difference between a box full of dead babies and a cadillac? A: I don't have a cadillac in my garage.