Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
Two cannibals were having lunch. "Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other. "Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.
Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? A: There are twenty of them.
A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said: "Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? A: An invalid.
Doctor to patient: "Why are you nervous?" Patient: "Because this is the first item I am going to have An operation." Doctor: "But I am not nervous though this is going to be my first operation."
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer." "Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!" God replies, "You better send them up here immediately." Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them." God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you." Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.