Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel? A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
My wife and I had been debating whether it was time to start a family when we saw a couple of cute kids, splashing and giggling in a paddling pool. I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She smiled and said, "Yes, Gary..." "That settles it, then," I replied. "We can't raise children if we're both paedos."
First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!" Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people." First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors? A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
What did the cannibal say when he was full? I couldn't eat another mortal.
Every night while Dave is having dinner his wife Natalie goes to the bedroom turns off the light and makes out with Daves friend Andy by the window. After some days Dave had doubt and leaving supper he went to the dark room only to hear whispers from the other side of the window. He pushes Natalie away goes near the window,unties his pant and put his arse facing the window. After a minute Andy puts a kiss on his butt cheek and says "Natalie, haven't u brushed ur teeth today?"
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson
Whats the difference between a jew camp and a summer camp? The kids come back.