The best black humor jokes

Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
Vote: has 77.02 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got the gas bill.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 265 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, money
My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday. So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.
Vote: has 76.80 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Two children, Johnny and Alex were sitting outside a clinic. Alex was crying very loudly. Johnny: Why are you crying? Alex: I came here for a blood test. Johnny: So? Are you afraid? Alex: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger. After hearing this Johnny started weeping making Alex feel surprised as well as curious and Alex asked: Why are you crying now? Johnny: I came for a urine test!
Vote: has 76.75 % from 925 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, hospital
A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down. The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?" "I liked her." "Why did you raped the boy?" "I liked him." "Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?" "I'm afraid I'll like you…"
Vote: has 76.73 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, lawyer
What do you do if an epileptic falls in your pool? Throw in your laundry.
Vote: has 76.70 % from 88 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Black humour is like a pair of legs. Not everyone has it.
Vote: has 76.67 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?" "I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously, the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding." "You got a silver compact and a red pickup?" "The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck." The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom." "I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls." The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot." "I don't care! Just do it!" The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one!"
Vote: has 76.53 % from 166 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, golf, money, teen
I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store. I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...
Vote: has 76.51 % from 127 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor