The best blonde jokes

Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70? Because 69 is such a mouthful.
Vote: has 56.20 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, math
At work, a blonde notices her that cubicle mate has a thermos. She asks him what it's for, and he responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her cube mate asks, "What do you have in it?" The blonde says, "Soup and ice cream."
Vote: has 56.05 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, food, work
Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because pets can't bring beer from the fridge. Q: Why did God create brunettes? A: Because the blondes couldn't either.
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth if you lie, you disappear. One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first. "I think I'm the smartest woman on earth." "POOF!" She disappears. The redhead goes up to try. "I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth." "POOF!" She disappears. The blonde goes up. "I think..." "POOF!"
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
There was this nouveau riche blond girl, who went to the nearest Mercedes showroom with a pocketful of dollars, and came out with the latest model. Half an hour later she was back at the showroom, claiming a that the car they sold her was terrible, that she was disappointed a brand-new Mercedes would get a fault in the gearbox after 15 minutes. The management apologized and gave her a new car. Again, after half an hour she came back. The management offered her a new car, but sent along one of their engineers to see if they could figure out what the problem was. She put in the first gear...speed up...put in second...third...fourth...fifth... “And now,” she said, “for the rocket,” and threw it in reverse.
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, management
Q: What's the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde and a Schwinn at the side of the road? A: One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's...
Vote: has 55.39 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, lesbian
One day a Blonde went the doctor with a burn on her stomach. The doctor gasped and asked what happened. the Blonde told the doctor she put a lighter against her stomach. The doctor asked her why in the world she would do that. the blond said "I was trying to burn calories."
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, doctor
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? I wonder if it's mine.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
A cop pulls over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license. "You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license, and the next day you ask me to show it."
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!" The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?" The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"
Vote: has 55.19 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde