The best blonde jokes

A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!" The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?" The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"
Vote:
has 53.57 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys. What is wrong with this joke? 1. This isn't a joke 2. The blonde is thinking
Vote:
has 53.22 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: blonde, military
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.
Vote:
has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde is watching a ventriloquist perform at a bar and the ventriloquist, with his dummy, is telling blonde joke after blonde joke, filling the bar with laughter. After several of these jokes, the blonde stands up, infuriated, and yells, "Listen here, jack*ss. Not all blondes are stupid and the jokes need to stop, it is a very cheap way to get laughs." Stunned, the ventriloquist timidly begins to apologize, "Ma'am, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was offending anyone." The blonde replies, "Stay out of this, sir. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your knee!"
Vote:
has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, stupid
John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends. One night, they both died in a terrible car accident. When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!" St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn’t make it to Heaven." This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other. John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I’m in the right place?" "My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!"
Vote:
has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, death, heaven, men
While shopping at the grocery store, I noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not. I mentioned this fact to the blonde cashier and mused out loud, "I wonder why?" The blonde replied, "Must be because the oil would suffocate them."
Vote:
has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first Blonde hands her the compact. She looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
Vote:
has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid
A husband is driving with her blonde wife, the husband says "Can you stick your head out the window if the blinker works?" T hen the blonde sticks her head out the window and replies, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..".
Vote:
has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, marriage, stupid
Blonde cop pulls over blonde motorist. Cop asks the motorist to see her license so the blonde searches in her purse & tells the blonde cop that she must have forgot it at home. The blonde cop asks the blonde motorist does she have any other type of identification so she searches in her purse again, looks at a pocket mirror & says, "I have a picture of myself." The cop asks to see it so the blonde motorist hands over the pocket mirror. The blonde cop looks at it & says, "Well if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over."
Vote:
has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why are two blonde girls fighting on a motorcycle? A: They are fighting because they both want to sit next to the window.
Vote:
has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde
<<<42434445
More jokes →
Page 42 of 79.