Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
Steve Jobs was an amazing man. He will live in my hard drive forever!
What do you call it when Miley Cyrus falls down? Hoe-Down.
Q: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton? A: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks. ''What's your name?'' The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?'' ''Yeah,'' says the frog. ''I'd like to borrow some money.'' The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. ''Okay,what's your name?'' The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.'' ''Really?'' says the loan officer. ''Any relation to Mick Jagger?'' ''Yeah, he's my dad.'' ''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer. ''Do you have any collateral?'' The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Will this do?'' The loan officer says, ''Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.'' ''Oh, tell him I said hi,'' adds the frog. ''He knows me.'' The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, ''Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.'' The manager says: ''It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.''
How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggers? He promised to create jobs for them if elected.
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day? A: TWERKY!
Chuck Norris is allowed to draw pictures of Mohammad.
Goku and Superman once had a baby his name is Chuck Norris.
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson