When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.
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Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.
That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
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Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today?
A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
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George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz.
When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish.
''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains.
''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.)
''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage.
Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard.
Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
If Chuck Norris appears in your dream, don't panic, he is only looking for Freddy Krueger.
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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort.
Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
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Bruce Wayne first tried wearing a Chuck Norris mask to inspire fear, until he saw himself in the mirror.
He immediately changed to the Batman
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Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once separated his powers into five people, they are now called The Avengers.
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