The best Christmas jokes

The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
Vote: has 73.48 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
Vote: has 73.44 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: christian, Christmas, church, easter, work
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.
Vote: has 72.31 % from 111 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, mean
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, office, party, time
Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." He came fifth and received a toaster.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, life
An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy. Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell. A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face. "Holy cow! What's that smell?" "I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?" "Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
Vote: has 71.35 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, Christmas, fart, life
What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve? Answer: "Halo there!"
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, communication
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
Vote: has 68.56 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, flirt, Halloween, sex
Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
Vote: has 68.03 % from 141 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, gay, sex
What did the black kid get for Christmas? YOUR BIKE!
Vote: has 67.00 % from 203 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, racist