The best Christmas jokes

While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. "If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?" The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?" He promptly replied, "Another train."
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, communication, kids, work
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.
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has 58.51 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, music
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
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has 58.23 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, flirt, Halloween, sex
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
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has 57.92 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, Santa
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
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has 57.49 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, music
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
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has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, priest
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
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has 56.16 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: athlete, Christmas, elf
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, fitness
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? A: Elfis!
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, music
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, life