The best Christmas jokes

Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, men, sex
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, office, party, time
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
Vote: has 61.59 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, fat, men, Santa, Thanksgiving
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
Vote: has 59.83 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, priest
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
Vote: has 59.58 % from 129 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, fart
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.
Vote: has 59.41 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, music
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. "If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?" The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?" He promptly replied, "Another train."
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, communication, kids, work
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, Santa
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, food, Santa