Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
A: Mistle-toes!
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar?
Both their balls are decoration only.
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing.
"Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols."
"Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?"
Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common?
A: They both have balls just for decoration.
Yo momma is so poor for Christmas she got a box, put two sticks on it, spun it and said son here's your xbox 360.
Your moms like a christmass tree all the guys put there balls on her.
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells!
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!