If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Yo mama so stupid someone said Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.
Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
Your moms like a christmass tree all the guys put there balls on her.
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells!
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"