The best Christmas jokes

The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, office, party, time
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, men, sex
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
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More jokes about: Christmas, fat, men, Santa, Thanksgiving
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.
Vote: has 60.70 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, music
The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, money, religious, time
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
Vote: has 59.95 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, music
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
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More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, priest
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
Vote: has 59.49 % from 126 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, fart
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. "If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?" The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?" He promptly replied, "Another train."
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Christmas, communication, kids, work