While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set.
"If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?"
The boy became very quiet.
So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?"
He promptly replied, "Another train."
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How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar?
Both their balls are decoration only.
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E?
A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing.
"Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols."
"Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?"
Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common?
A: They both have balls just for decoration.
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
A: Mistle-toes!
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles?
A: Mr. XMass
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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