The best Christmas jokes

Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
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has 52.63 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, Santa
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, fitness
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? A: Elfis!
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, music
What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve? Answer: "Halo there!"
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, communication
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Christmas, family, kids
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, men, sex
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
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has 48.08 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dog, food, little Johnny
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, geek, Halloween, IT, programmer
Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner? A: Toast their clients.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, customer service, food, tax
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