Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells!
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?" Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Yo momma is so poor for Christmas she got a box, put two sticks on it, spun it and said son here's your xbox 360.
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve? Answer: "Halo there!"
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner? A: Toast their clients.