Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. "If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?" The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?" He promptly replied, "Another train."
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
Your moms like a christmass tree all the guys put there balls on her.
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."