The best Christmas jokes

Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, fitness
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, kids, Santa
What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas Card!
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, elf, stupid
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Christmas, life, music
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? A: Elfis!
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, elf, music
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
Vote: has 54.66 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, geek, Halloween, IT, programmer
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, Christmas, family, kids
Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner? A: Toast their clients.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, customer service, food, tax
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris