Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
Your moms like a christmass tree all the guys put there balls on her.
The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve? Answer: "Halo there!"
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner? A: Toast their clients.