The best Christmas jokes

The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, Santa
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, food, husband, new year, women
The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, money, religious, time
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Christmas, life, music
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, fitness
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? A: Elfis!
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, elf, music
Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner? A: Toast their clients.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, customer service, food, tax
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
Vote: has 53.18 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, geek, Halloween, IT, programmer