If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas?
A: My bike.
Vote:
Yo momma is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas.
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas?
Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing.
"Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols."
"Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?"
Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar?
Both their balls are decoration only.
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!
Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.