Q: What is an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? A: "Coincidence on 34th Street"
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
Yo momma is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas.
You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." He came fifth and received a toaster.
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
What did the black kid get for Christmas? YOUR BIKE!
Yo mama so stupid someone said Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
Q: Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas? A: So they'll have something to unwrap.