If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas? Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
Yo momma is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas.
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? A: Elfis!
Q: Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas? A: So they'll have something to unwrap.
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
What did the black kid get for Christmas? YOUR BIKE!
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.