The best Chuck Norris jokes

The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
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Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees. He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names.
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
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