The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
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How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.
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If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
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Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink. If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
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Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so. He remind him of Trivette...
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The world ends on December 21st, 2012. Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris broke the world record for most punches in a minute with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris is an action verb.
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