The best Chuck Norris jokes

Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, drug
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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has 45.48 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, cowboy, death
Underneath China it says "Made in Chuck Norris".
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has 45.42 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: asian, Chuck Norris
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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has 44.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, cop
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
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has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, morbid, sport, winter
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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has 44.61 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
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