In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris can make love to a girl so hard and fast it inspired a reality tv series.
We know it as Forged in the fire.
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right?
Well he's currently making his third attempt.
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Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.
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Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
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Chuck Norris once stuck a fork in a toaster and the toaster got electrocuted.
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Count from one to ten.
That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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Chuck Norris's tears can cure every type of cancer, the only problem is he never cried.
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