In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris can make love to a girl so hard and fast it inspired a reality tv series.
We know it as Forged in the fire.
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.
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Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
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Chuck Norris once stuck a fork in a toaster and the toaster got electrocuted.
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Count from one to ten.
That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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Chuck Norris's tears can cure every type of cancer, the only problem is he never cried.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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