Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
Chuck Norris created Heavy Metal when he was upset.
Chuck Norris' guitar amp goes up to 12.
Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.