Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common? A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.