The best Chuck Norris jokes

The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Vote: has 39.21 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
Vote: has 38.50 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
Vote: has 38.41 % from 85 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
Vote: has 38.25 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
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When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
Vote: has 38.22 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
Vote: has 38.00 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
Vote: has 37.92 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
Vote: has 37.92 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
Vote: has 37.92 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, game, IT, technology


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