The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
Vote: has 26.11 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 25.71 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, masturbation
If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
Vote: has 25.28 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
Vote: has 24.61 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Vote: has 23.79 % from 79 votes. Send joke:
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If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
Vote: has 23.66 % from 94 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political
Scientists have predicted the world will end in 2012, but that's just a guess when Chusk Norris' patience will run out.
Vote: has 23.18 % from 180 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science, time
Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common? A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
Vote: has 22.01 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
Vote: has 21.79 % from 82 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. If you’re thinking to yourself, “But Chuck Norris isn’t black”, then you are dead wrong. And stop being a racist.
Vote: has 21.09 % from 134 votes. Send joke:
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